HOF Inductee No. 12: "We Are The Champions," Queen

"We Will Rock You" opens the Queen LP "News Of The World." After two minutes and one second of its anthemic foot stomps and hand claps, it segues seamlessly into "We Are The Champions." Both had pretentions to be sports anthems. The two were released as a double "A" sided single. "We Are The Champions" is the side that climbed the pop charts, hitting #4 in the U.S. and #2 in the U.K. "We Will Rock You" is the side that stayed in our hearts and continues to live on as a sports arena anthem.

Both perennially make the list of all-time earworms. It is only fitting that they go into the Earworm Hall of Fame in the order we hear them on "News Of The World."

Brian May wrote "We Will Rock You." It's fair to say he was more in tune with sports stadium rock. Freddie Mercury wrote "We Are The Champions" as a sports song, but it isn't really. It's a theatre song. The title may say "sports," but lyrics about taking bows and curtain calls scream "Broadway," or since Queen are Londoners, "West End." That's why the best cover of this song was done by someone whose very existence screams "Theatre!" with a capital-T: Liza Minnelli:

Liza performed the song as the show closer to the 1992 Freddie Mercury tribute concert. She is the one who truly grasped that this is a theater song and, as such, is an appropriate honor to, maybe, the most theatrical rocker of all time. (The "maybe" is tip o' the hat to Alice Cooper -- Vincent Furnier -- who brought together hard rock and show tunes, combined with an entertaining stage show, creating one of the greatest personalities in recorded music. But that's an analysis we'll save for a future induction.)

HOF Inductee No. 11: "We Will Rock You," Queen

Science(TM) has selected this next inductee into the Earworm Hall of Fame. "Scientists" at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland, at their School of Philosophical, Anthropological, and Film Studied, developed a mathematical formula to determine what makes an earworm the earwormiest. The study was published in that noted science-y-ific journal, New Music Express.

According to the article, "an earworm needs five key components: surprise, predictability, rhythmic repetition, melodic potency and receptiveness (how the listener feels about the song)." Thus, researchers reduced this to a precise mathematical formula: "Receptiveness + (predictability-surprise) + (melodic potency) + (rhythmic repetition x1.5) = earworm." Plug all of this into the formula and, according to research team, the Number 1 earworm of all time is this:  Queen:  "We Will Rock You."

Who are we to argue with Science(TM)? We are not science-deniers here.

Regarding the formula for building the perfect earworm, "We Will Rock You" has "rhythmic repetition" in spades. But the song is much more than that. As far as the "predictability" metric, it depends on what this means. Once the song starts, the course is very predictable, up to the Brian May guitar solo at the end, There is not a whole lot of sonic variation within its 2:01 run time, But, as far as the song itself, this song sounds like no other pop song of the recorded music era. The melody, such as it is, is carried by foot stomps and hand claps, not by instrumentation (until the aforementioned guitar solo at the very end).

The song was designed to be anthemic. It was and it still is. It is also infectious and irresistible. It is an all-time earworm. Maybe not the all-time #1 earworm. The science is never settled. But a major earworm nonetheless.

Despite the catchy infectiousness of the song, the song is essentially un-cover-able. Need proof? Hair metal band Warrant -- pioneers of the genre "bubblegum metal" -- a band that posed as a metal band but was just a purveyor of sappy power ballads -- tried to do a cover of this song for some forgotten forgettable movie. The wispy results were predictably awful. Worse than awful. Anemic. An anemic anthem. Warrant should've stuck to eating its cherry pie.

HOF Inductee No. 10: "Come And Get Your Love," Redbone

 

Get it from the main vine!

Remember the old Sara Lee commercials from many decades ago. To paraphrase: Every doesn't like some song, but nobody doesn't like Redbone's "Come And Get Your Love."

This is not just one of the best earworms you can ever hope to get lodged in the right hemisphere on your brain. This is one of the happiest, peppiest, most likeable songs there ever has been. And thank you very much, makers of the film "Guardians of the Galaxy," or to the movie's protagonist Peter Quill, for bringing this awesome song to a whole new generation of music fans.

Anchoring this Native American rock band were brothers Patrick and Candido Vasquez, who we know better as Pat and Lolly Vegas. Only Pat is still with us, as Lolly passed away in 2010, before the major resurgence in popularity experienced by their greatest song thanks to "Guardians of the Galaxy." The Vegas Brothers originally started as a surf rock band. In the 1960s, they became the house band for the teen-themed music TV show "Shindig!" But their Native American heritage was in the background at that time. Inspired by Jimi Hendrix's embrace of his Cherokee roots, the Vegas Brothers fully embraced their own, deeper, indigenous heritage.

Their self-titled debut album was released in 1970. But it was with their second album, "Potlatch," also released in 1970 -- it was not unusual back then for groups to release more than one LP in a calendar year -- that Redbone began hitting the pop charts, with the lead track "Maggie," a swamp rock ode to a dead hooker, getting up to #50. The B-side was even better: the quirky "New Blue Sermonette." Their third album, "Message From a Drum," released in 1971, featured their first Top 40 hit, with the bluesy voodoo-themed "Witch Queen of New Orleans" reaching #21 in the Hot 100. Like many of Redbone's singles, it was an even bigger hit in Europe. "Witch Queen" reached #2 in the UK. (The New Orleans connection for Redbone ran deep, with the name "Redbone" itself being a cajun term for someone of mixed race.)

But Redbone would have to wait until 1974 to have their biggest hit:  "Come And Get Your Love." Not only is this Redbone's greatest hit, it's the biggest hit ever in the US for a Native American recording act. Interesting, while the song peaked at #5 on the weekly charts, it spent so much time in 1974 in the upper reaches of the Hot 100 that it was the #4 song for the entire year of 1974. It is a very unusual accomplishment for a song to chart higher on the annual chart than it did on any weekly chart. Redbone did it with their greatest earworm.

Hail Redbone. Hail "Come and Get Your Love." You now are in the Earworm Hall of Fame. Given your accomplishments as the greatest Native American rock band of all time, when is Redbone going to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?